Veep

Hoo-boy. I was reading the Wikipedia entry for my running mate, Tonya Harding. Did you know she's had several run-ins with the law since the infamous Kerrigan incident? I had no idea. Boy, do I wish I'd read this before I asked her to be my VP. I was just following McCain's lead in making my selection. Vetting? Pfft. We don't need to do no stinkin' vetting. She's a maverick!

I'm just thankful she didn't have an interview with that hard-nosed reporter Katie Couric last week. Did Couric rip Palin to shreds, or what? That was merciless. Couric's gentle, understanding, non-threatening manner clearly unnerved Palin and backed her into a corner she felt she could get out of only by spewing unrelated buzz words and talking points. I think it's fair to say that a future hurdle all VP candidates will have to cross is surviving an interview with Couric.

Anyway, I'm in a quandary. My friend Robin has volunteered to take over being my VP choice. I had tapped her for head of Homeland Security, but she made a strong argument in her favor. She lives in Minnesota which, as you may not know, borders Canada. Planes often fly directly from Canada into Minnesota airspace. My guess is she can even look out her window and see planes flying overhead.

Until this crisis is resolved, I'm suspending my campaign and heading back to Washington. Oh, wait. I'm already in Washington. Well, I'll cross into Maryland and take my sweet time (at least 22 hours) coming back.