Debate: I think I won

Let's look at how the candidates did.

Barack "I do so understand!" Obama

Came across as very knowledgeable and capable. Kind of like a Commander-in-Chief. Not the one we currently have, of course. The kind we'd like to have. Considering foreign policy is supposed to be his weak area, he handled himself quite nicely, I must say. When he went into that "You were wrong" riff, I was pumping my fist and shouting, Go Barack! Jim Lehrer had to tell me to be quiet. Oops! You probably didn't catch this either, but I'm the one who fed him the Spain line. He also did a great job of making eye contact and addressing McCain.

John "Miss Congeniality" McCain

Do you think Palin gave him that "Miss Congeniality" line? It has beauty pageant written all over it and, god knows, McCain would never in a bajillion years be allowed in a beauty pageant as a contestant and certainly not as a judge. Did you see that leer he gave when he mentioned his maverick partner? Ew. It had dirty-old-man written all over it. The worst part about his performance, though, had to be his condescending attitude toward Obama. Couldn't even look at him! What was that about? Is it because Obama is a damn good looking man? Oh, and did you see the clip on YouTube where McCain is saying "horseshit" TWICE?

Monkey

I thought I showed tremendous poise, considering no questions or barbs were directed at me. Other than Lehrer telling me to be quiet when I was rooting on Barack, I don't think I did any damage to my campaign. I did get some nice doodles in, and I stole the pen from my lecturn.