Nicknames

A rather pointless article on the front page of today's Washington Post about Todd "First Dude" Palin got me thinking about nicknames. Let's take a look at some from the Republican side of the aisle.

The "Great Communicator"
How? Why? So Reagan could READ from a SCRIPT. How does that make him a communicator, let alone a great one? He wasn't even a good actor. Here's the definition of communicator: "to transmit or reveal a feeling or thought by speech, writing, or gesture so that it is clearly understood [emphasis added]." Uh, no.

"Maverick"
Let's again turn to the dictionary: "an unbranded animal, especially a calf that has become separated from its mother and herd." Ok, I'm cherry-picking a bit. That's the second definition. Here's the first: "an independent thinker who refuses to conform to the accepted views on a subject." Need I remind you that McCain has voted with Bush 90% of the time? Oooo. Way to take a stand. Or maybe he's thinking of the tv series? I'm sure he remembers it well - it aired from 1957 to 1962.

"First Dude"
No wonder Bristol got pregnant. Can you imagine being a teenager and having a father who referred to himself as First Dude? Rebel! Rebel! (By the way, he says Bristol is "not high-maintenance.") Anyway, the point of the pointless article apparently was to show that Todd has been integrally involved in governing Alaska. (Another aside: With the name Todd, shouldn't he be gay?) Seems relatively harmless, but then I got to thinking about what could happen if McCain-Palin win.

[phone rings]
Putin: Prime Minister Putin.

Todd: Dude! Wassup?

Putin: (sighing) For the last time, Mr. Palin, it's Prime Minister Putin. If you refer to me as dude one more time, I will remove Alaska from the face of the earth.

Todd: Ok, ok. Chill.

Putin: What do you want?

Todd: Sarah asked me to give you a call. She's busy with the breast pump...

Putin: Really, Mr. Palin, I don't need to know that.

Todd: That's cool. Anyway, Sarah asked me call you. Bristol's fiance (chuckle) called this morning to say that he looked across the water and saw a bunch of tanks. What's the deal?

Putin: The tanks are there to provide ground protection for the fighter jets.

Todd: To do what for the what now?

Putin: President McCain? Is that you?

Todd: No, no. Still me. Sorry - the old guy kinda rubs off on ya after awhile. So what's the deal here?

Putin: We're...um...we're going wolf hunting.

Todd: Awesome! Can I join you?