Sports metaphors

Comparing McCain's latest shenanigans with a hail mary pass is too obvious. [Aside: Pardon my language, but is he a fucking dumbass, or what? Who on earth would vote for this goofball? There's no question Congress would have had a deal on the bailout by now if he hadn't stuck his skin-cancered nose in the muck. And for what purpose? He didn't do anything except grin like an idiot then mess it all up at the end when nearly everyone else was in agreement. Why? Is he that afraid of the debate?]

Tonya wanted to do an analogy with figure skating, but I think it's too obscure. I'm not sure what an axel is vs. a toe loop, or whatever those various leaps are. They all look the same to me.

So, instead, I'm going to use basketball. Think of the presidential campaign as Team Obama vs. Team McCain, with the press as referees.

Team Obama
The brash, brilliant young star (Obama) joins the team and immediately assumes a leadership position. Since he is inexperienced in some areas, a cagey veteran (Biden) is brought on to shore up the young guy. The team isn't expected to do well against the more experienced conference opponent (Clinton), but Team Obama puts an excellent coaching staff and a good mix of players on the floor. The game plan, for the most part, is perfect.

Once Team Obama wins the conference championship (Democratic nomination), they go up against Team McCain. There are a few hiccups in Team Obama's performance (letting McCain-Palin smears go unchallenged), especially due to dirty play on the part of the opponent (constant lying), but they regroup and come back aggressively. This aggressive approach results in some offensive fouls (questionable claims about McCain's stands), but overall is working to Team Obama's benefit.

Team McCain
This team is built around a veteran who is past his prime (think Michael Jordan with the Wizards). Privately, even his biggest fans think he should have retired a few years ago (fellow Republicans thinking he's too much of a hot-head to be president). But he ignores them because he knows best (because he's a hot-head). He realizes that he needs to bring in some young blood (Palin) if his team is going to go the distance. Alas, after the finals rosters have been turned in, he realizes his backup just isn't very good (think Michael Jordan selecting Kwame Brown; obvious lack of vetting VP options).

So he and his team, most of which are in serious foul trouble due to questionable tactics (lies, etc.), have to play zone defense in a desperate attempt to keep the bench players (Palin) from having to make an appearance and expose her lack of skills. This leaves plenty of holes for Team Obama to take advantage of, which they do. Team McCain whine incessantly to the referees (press) over every call. This works initially (press backing off Palin), but eventually the team gets a technical (threaten to not cover Palin's foreign policy crash course).

In spite of these efforts, the team star (McCain) is getting tired because, frankly, he's old. He tries to call a time-out ("suspending" his campaign; call to postpone debate). Unfortunately, his team is out of time-outs, so another technical is assessed (editorials questioning his tactics).

Referees
While fans of both teams complain that the other team is getting the benefit of the calls, the referees (press) are actually bending over backwards to be impartial. This is due mainly to their lack of action over the Tim Donaghy betting scandal (not questioning the Iraq war buildup). Even so, they are human and have some downfalls (balking at pushing too hard on Palin), but quickly get back on track (ignore the McCain campaign's complaints about the "liberal media").


So there you have it. I hope that on November 5th I can use another sports metaphor: Team Obama routs Team McCain.